Saturday, August 15, 2009

Biochemical Warfare

In case you guys didn't know this about me I can some times over exaggerate, swear there is something wrong with me when it's really not possible, and between last night and this afternoon I convinced myself that I had come in contact with anthrax or some other chemical agent and then that I had some kind of mystery disease that would not be discovered until I was 50. Seriously...I am THAT crazy. Well not really...anywho, on to my story.

Last night my sister and I arrived home from dinner. My mom and Belli were waiting at the top of the front steps to greet us. We stood outside for a minute when suddenly I was overcome with a burning sensation in my throat. I couldn't breathe or talk, only cough. I quickly went inside to get some water and then realized that both my sister and mother were having the same problem. After a minute or so we were all fine. It was weird to say the least. Realistically I had no clue what had happened but of course me and my wild imagination was certain a biochemical war was about to start. Right...

So, later on that night after I went to bed my lips and cheeks started burning. Great there really is a chemical war going on. I get out of bed and go ask my sister if she is burning too. Of course my sister is not burning. Only me...of course! Then, ten minutes later I notice my mouth and cheeks are not burning so much anymore...but boy do my eyes sting. So badly I can't even open them. I get up and go wash them out with water. This helps but they are still burning. I go to bed anyway and hope that I wake up in the morning burn free. And I did.

Until about 10am when I am showing an apartment at work. I notice that same burning feeling in my throat and I'm coughing in these people faces. I then begin to notice that my face, tongue and lips are burning again too. At this point I have now convinced myself that there must not be any chemical warfare going on because no one else seems to be bothered. Instead, I start thinking about that show Mystery Diagnosis where these people go years and years and years with all these weird symptoms and no one can figure out what is wrong. Yea...that would happen to me.

So, from that time until about 12pm I sit and mull it over and try to figure out what is wrong with me. Another couple comes in to look at an apartment. I take them. Then, upon getting back in my car I look down and see rusty orange stains on my right pants leg right above my knee. That's weird. Where did that come from? Then I see another drop. And another. What the heck. What is dripping? No? No way! My mace! It's cracked! I'm being maced! Woohoo!!! I don't have a disease! Yep that's right. From the time my sister and I got home last night until noon this afternoon I had been getting small doses of mace on my hands. Which then transfered to my mouth, face, eyes, EVERYWHERE. As for right when we got home the other night and all three of us got it I can only assume that was the moment the mace blew up, cracked, or did whatever it did.

Moral of the story...if you ever have any of the above symptoms and carry mace on your key ring check for cracks.

Now, I mentioned in my post last night that Isabelle we had some visitors over yesterday. Jennie, who is a friend of ours from way back, came over with her sweet little boy. To read about their visit and too see some really great pictures you can visit Jennie's blog here

Have a great rest of the weekend!


  1. I'm laughing so hard right now! I can just see all three of you coughing and burning. LOL! I would probably think it's chemical warfare too!

    This post is great!

  2. Oh, and feel free to put any of those pics up!

    I'm glad it was your mace and not any anthrax!

  3. Ok, this is totally something that would happen to me!!! HILARIOUS!!!

  4. By the way...the last comment...that was from me "cousin Lori", sorry I didn't sign it!! :)